I'm dying for this Free People dress featured in the March catalogue. It's just my style, could be dressed up to wear to a wedding or dressed down with a hoodie or jean jacket, and my motorcycle boots or chucks for an every day casual look. I wanted it the second I saw it. Just to top it off this dress is named the Ruby Tuesday, which is my daughter's name and the day she was born. I love it!
March 10, 2014
My little sweetheart turned nine months old earlier this month. Nine months feels like a really big deal, and it may be because that's how long human gestation is. My baby has already changed so much in such a short time. She's got quite a sweet and flirtatious little personality coming out. She is also just such an easy and relaxed baby. I think she gets that from me. I'm pretty laid back, and from what I hear I was also a really easy baby.
She is eating solid foods now. She loves to eat and has a huge appetite. It's very surprising since she's a pretty petite little baby. Her favorite foods so far are bananas, sweet potatoes, beans of all sorts, yogurt, apple sauce with chia seeds, avocado and carrots. Sometimes she gets so excited to eat that she bounces up and down in her highchair with a big smile on her face as I bring her food out. She still nurses every day. Now that it is far less often, it feels so much more sweet and special to me. It has become less of a demand and pressure on me and much more of a bonding time for the two of us.
Ruby loves books and being read to. Her favorite books are Busy Baby which was picked out and given to her by her 2nd cousin Josie. She also loves Global Babies, Owl Babies, Gossie and the Peek-a-Boo book. She likes to help me turn the pages as I read to her. She has a great attention span, too. I usually read her at least 5 or 6 books before she's ready for another activity.
Her favorite toys are her mom and dad's old troll dolls, a green slinky, an Oball, her foam blocks and my old hand made cabbage patch doll. She also really loves playing with my fashion magazines by tearing them apart and bending the pages, and she loves playing with our orange peels. I think it's the color, texture and smell of them that fascinate her. She spends a lot of time happily bouncing around in her jumper, which is my favorite toy of hers. She has shown no interest in crawling and does not like being on her tummy. I'm OK with her not crawling around on our floors and eventually just going straight to walking.
She's a very snugly baby, which I love! She and I just lay on the couch hugging each other for long periods of time. It's really the best thing ever, as far as I'm concerned. She's also getting to know the kitties much better. She's learning how to pet them gently instead of trying to grab them and pull out fistfuls of their fur. They have both been very patient and sweet with her.
Now that it's getting a little warmer outside I'm so excited to take her to the park and put her in a swing for the the first time. I can't wait to hold her on my lap and go down slides with her. I look forward to having little picnics together outside as a family, and taking her to the beach. She's the love of my life, and she's growing up so beautifully.
March 1, 2014
Here's a little mix of some of the music that we've been listening around here lately.
limits of desire-small black
is this how you feel?-the preatures
sweet talk-jessie ware
the mother we share-chvrches
please stay-the cryin shames
the way we move-langhorne slim
trying to be cool-phoenix
quarry hymns-land of talk
take a listen to it right HERE
February 27, 2014
They're back on my head at least. It's been well over a decade since I've worn bangs. I had bangs of all styles all through my childhood, well into my teens and in my early twenties. In the late 90s they were short, very short. That was a look back then. My hair was basically identical to the actress Shannyn Sossamon pictured above.
It's been a while since since those ultra short wispy bangs have made an appearance on the foreheads of stylish women. I think the fashion rule is something like if you wore it the last time it was in style you're not supposed to wear it again. I broke that rule late last night when I decided to give them another try. It was honestly just an attempt to remedy the awkward wispy fringe that was growing in after postpartum hair loss. I think they'll do. I also think they may even be making a comeback since both Suri Cruise and Zoe Kravitz are wearing them short.
February 25, 2014
Well I finally did it! I went through my entire closet of clothes, tried everything on and organized it all. There are items that I love, fit well and am keeping, clothes to give away and/or donate and also clothes to sell. I have always been a bit of a minimalist, so it didn't take too much time to go through this process. The hard part was accepting that I should just let certain things go and not look back.
I have been putting this off for a little while, thinking I still have some more baby weight to lose. I may lose more weight, I also may not. I'm not too worried about it. I know that I definitely don't want to start putting things on hold for that specific reason. At this point it's more important for me to have a closet full of clothes that I know I feel good in. I no longer want to squeeze myself into things or put something on that I'm just over. So I'm getting rid of my old size 0's and 2's and even some of my size 4's and moving on.
I was inspired by the Minneapolis blogger Wide Eyed Legless to do this the right way. I've never gone through my entire closet, pulled everything out and really examined if I love and want to keep each item of clothing. There were a number of clothes just hanging in my closet that I haven't worn in years. They are clothes that I once loved and just figured I would wear again sometime. It turned out once I actually saw them on me again they just no longer worked for me.
Although I do enjoy shopping, I don't plan on doing a whole lot of it. There isn't much that I need, and I just don't have as much time for that as I once did. I'm also not a huge fan of shopping online for clothes. I like to be able to feel the clothes and see them on me. I would like to find a new dress that I can wear to my friends John and Dana's wedding and maybe some pretty heels to go with it. I think some new jeans would be nice to find, too. Other than that I'm planning on being even more picky than before, and I'm sticking with my style of clothing best described as comfortable and timeless mixed with a little quirky tomboy.
February 14, 2014
Today was great! I dressed Ruby up in a red and white outfit with hundreds of tiny hearts. My husband and I exchanged little gifts. He knew I wanted a new hoodie and surprised me with the one I'm wearing in the photos. I surprised him with the book How Music Works by David Byrne. Other than that we didn't do anything out of the ordinary, because we've already got so much love in our home every single day.
January 8, 2014
It's a new year, and so far I've spent it mostly at home in my pajamas. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore time inside a snow storm comes, and the temperature drops to something crazy like -17. We've been leaving our blinds down and curtains closed in order to better keep the heat in our apartment. Even when I try to just take a little peek outside I can't see a thing since our windows are frozen over with hoarfrost. I imagine this may be a little bit what it feels like to live in a submarine. Today is the last day of the extreme cold snap. Tomorrow we can open the curtains again and see through the windows. It will be warm enough outside to take Ruby for a walk. We both need so much to breathe in some fresh winter air.
On New Years Day we had friends over for a few drinks and games. Thankfully, Ruby was already asleep for the night and was able to sleep through the noise. So we were really able to just relax, and I got outside for a few minutes with my friend John while he smoked a cigarette. It was freezing but invigorating. I got out again a few days later when the temperatures reached the upper twenties. I honestly don't remember what day that was or where we went. My mind has started to blur the days. We ran a few errands carrying Ruby in the Egro. The sidewalks would not have worked pushing a stroller through the snow. Today we took Ruby to see her doctor for a regular check up. We took the IGO, so I was really only outside for a moment. But it was sunny, and I got some fresh air. I could tell Ruby loved being outside. Her face seemed to light up as we sat in the backseat of the car together on our way to the doctor.
This is not ever how I imagined motherhood to be. To be honest, I never really imagined it much before I got pregnant. I always just thought I would be lucky if it ever happened to me. I'm used to being quite free and unrestricted in my life. I've spent the majority of my adulthood living alone, moving to different cities and a different country when I felt like it. I've had all sorts of jobs, from working for a clothing designer in New York to waitressing at a Vietnamese restaurant in Minneapolis, and I've dated far too many men. So being a mother these last few months and especially in the first few days of 2014 I'm finding it hard to recognize my life. I no longer recognize my body, my thoughts, habits, daily activities, sleep patterns and the list goes on and on.
Don't get me wrong, I am loving parts of being at home with my baby. Reading her books in our pajamas, making her food that she's just now tasting for the first time ever, listening to her babble, making her laugh and rocking and nursing her on my lap are what I live for. I also understand that that feeling like I'm crawling out of my skin and dying to get outside is a totally normal feeling. It's called cabin fever, and it's just magnified with a baby. I sometimes have to remind myself that I chose this, because I want to spend this time with my baby. Everyone tells you they grow up so fast, and I get that. I've worked as a nanny and have experienced it first hand.
I am currently struggling with these conflicting feelings of not wanting time to move too quickly and also desperately wishing for spring to come. The days seem to go by so quickly, but this winter somehow already feels brutal. I don't want Ruby to not be a baby before I'm ready. I also just can't wait to take her to the park, and push her in the swings while feeling the heat of the sun. I want to put my hair up in a bun and dress in easy summer clothes. I want to take Ruby with me to meet up with a friend for ice cream. And when summer finally comes I will want a whole new set of things, or maybe things will finally start feeling normal for the first time since becoming a mother.
December 30, 2013
My husband and I are currently in the middle of sleep training our nearly seven month old baby. She was a great sleeper the first few months of her life. She could fall asleep and stay asleep in the room with music playing while family and friends visited. Most of the time she slept in a cradle next to our bed. Sometimes I would nurse her in bed, and we would both fall asleep together. If I wasn't asleep I was still able to move her to her cradle without any trouble. Right around 3 months was when she started crying hysterically anytime I tried putting her in her crib. So we began to co-sleep, which was never something I planned on or intended to do. It just seemed like the easiest thing at the time.
This worked out just fine for a few months. I enjoyed spending so much time together snuggling and resting with her. Then it got to the point where she needed to nurse almost all night long. She would cry if I removed my nipple from her mouth and wake up during naps if I got up to use the bathroom. We were hardly sleeping at all. She was also starting to move around more and roll over. I was afraid she could potentially fall out of bed. Spending the majority of my days laying around was also beginning to take a toll on my mind and my body. I needed time for myself and also time to physically work on getting back some of the strength I lost from pregnancy and co-sleeping.
After a lot of thought and research I decided to start sleep training her. Unfortunately, my husband has done very little to help me out with this. In his defense, he works odd hours at a full time job and is also a full time student. I started out trying the no cry method and used a slightly tweaked rocking technique from The Happiest Baby on The Block. I would rock her in her crib almost constantly to get her to fall asleep. Eventually she would fall asleep, but after about twenty minutes or so wake up crying. For three nights in a row we got little to no sleep at all, and late one night I gave up and brought my baby back into bed with me.
I co-slept with her again for a little while until I got up the nerve to try Ferber's CIO method. From my understanding this involves creating a bedtime routine and making sure your baby is ready for bed; meaning tired, fed and of course wearing a fresh diaper when you put him/her down. Then you put your baby in the crib while briefly checking in at intervals. This method is supposed to help your baby learn to soothe itself to sleep, so that he/she will eventually be able to fall asleep on their own without crying. It also gives your baby the comfort of knowing you are still nearby.
I had/have a few issues with this. One issue is that I feel and act crazy when she cries. I'm sure that it's a combination of hormones and some sort of ancient biological instinct to protect my baby when she's crying. So I have to continuously remind myself that she's not in any danger of being attacked by a wild animal, and that this is going to help her/everyone sleep better in the long run. Another issue I have is that my husband has gone in and picked her up a few times while she's been crying. So did a family member during the holidays. As far as I know this is not good, because it teaches her that if she cries long enough eventually someone will pick her up. So it reinforces her crying. Another issue I have is that when I go in to check on her it usually makes her cry even harder, which is obviously the opposite of my goal.
We have had some success with this method. She has had quite a few nights of sleeping ten hours straight. We've all woken up fully rested and able to really enjoy our day together. There have also been many nights and naps that took over an hour for her to fall asleep. That means over an hour of crying. There was even one night that she cried almost all through the night. We started this newer method just under two weeks a go, and it's still very inconsistent and challenging for everyone.
I am now at the point of trying out a less severe version of the straight CIO method. I will not put my baby down and just leave her to cry. There have been a few times that she just needed her diaper changed again, and then she was able to fall asleep. So now I will let her cry for a little while, then check in only once to see if she needs a fresh diaper. From what I have read periodically checking in on your baby could potentially reinforce the idea that more crying means more visits from mom and dad. So they may end up crying more for that reason. I'm hoping that this method will be the winner.
There are several other factors that make me wonder about the success, or lack of success, with my sleep training attempts. I wonder what set backs occur trying sleep training during the holidays, in a new environment and with all sorts of new stimulus. She actually did sleep great once she was finally able to fall asleep at her grandparents' house. I also wonder about teething while sleep training, because she has been showing some signs.
I would also like to add that even though lately my baby has been crying herself to sleep most nights, she is still the same smiley happy baby with us when she is awake. Overall, she is actually sleeping way more than when we co-slept. I am also sleeping more. My husband and I finally have some much needed alone time together. I have been able to find some time just for myself again, too.