August 29, 2013

i wear what i want (sort of)






One of the many perks of being a student and taking care of another person is that I can wear what I want. I don't have any sort of uniform or a standard of dress to uphold. I'm able to be creative when I get dressed or just dress for exactly how I'm feeling that day. It's been this way for me for a while. 

Lately, though, I feel like the amount of clothes I have that I can actually wear has dwindled down to almost nothing. On top of that I don't really have a lot of clothes to begin with. It's not like I'm hurting for clothes. I've just always tried to keep only what I wear and buy only what I love. I find that when I have too many choices I start to get overwhelmed. The majority of my clothes still don't fit comfortably since my pregnancy. When I pick out a shirt now I have to think about if I can easily breast feed my baby in it and if it will show through if I start to leak. This has been very limiting for me when I am deciding what to wear, and I've discovered that when I have too few choices I also feel something similar to being overwhelmed. 

All I'm really trying to say is that I'm looking forward to having the freedom to dress like myself again one day soon and to wear anything in my closet. This seems to be the recurring theme for the year, and so I'm afraid I may be starting to forget what my style is exactly. So here are a few pictures to serve as reminders and inspiration for my future self.

August 21, 2013

happy birthday!

Today is my mom's birthday! It's her first birthday as a grandma, and she's turning 66. She looks great doesn't she. She's currently on a road trip with her fiancé, but they'll be here tomorrow to celebrate.

family photos


My friends Josh and Susan recently came to visit and meet Ruby. Josh took these family photos of us with some crazy camera that takes four photos at the same time. That's how he created these images. Check out more of his photography right HERE.

August 20, 2013

maybe i'm only dreaming







I'm still dreaming of my next tattoo and wondering if there will actually ever be a next tattoo. I'm hoping that I will be able to get another one. But with my tattoo guy living in another city and a major shift in my priorities I may just be dreaming. It would be a great birthday present though.

August 12, 2013

Anna Karina







It's been nearly a decade since I've watched a movie with the actress Anna Karina. I was introduced to her and those great French films back when I used to date a film student. I think I need to revisit those old movies again.

August 8, 2013

twirling and fire



My best friend recently discovered some old video that he took on my wedding day and sent it to me. This was a nice little belated anniversary gift to receive. My husband and I went out for the very first time without Ruby to celebrate our 2 year anniversary on the 6th. The grandparents came into town to babysit for us. We went out for a little dinner, then sat outside at one of our favorite neighborhood spots and had a drink. Afterwards we went for a walk and ended up where we had our wedding reception. We stopped and kissed in the spot where my dress caught on fire. At one point in the evening I laughed harder than I've laughed in a long time. I know I can always count on my husband to make me laugh. That is just one of the many reasons why I married him and will always love him.

*On a side note I was highly intoxicated by love and also by alcoholic beverages on my wedding night. This should explain my terrible dancing skills and how I set my dress on fire.

August 4, 2013

this is getting easier







Ruby is two moths old today, well in about a half hour from now to be exact. This has been a crazy couple of months, but it has become so much easier than it was early on. We've discovered a few tricks with her that have really helped us out. One of them is a hand-me-down vibrating chair that was given to us by my cousin. Overall Ruby seems to be napping more during the day now, and she continues to sleep like a champ at night. She already has a bedtime and an evening routine that works for us. We start our days pretty early, she is our alarm clock. We take long walks together as a family in the mornings. We usually go to our favorite neighborhood cafe and then explore nearby neighborhoods or run errands with Ruby in the stroller. In the afternoon Ruby and I lay in bed together and nap and nurse. Later in the day I will usually take her out again to visit her papa on his break.

 I have been getting a lot of visits from old friends and new ones, too. This helps keep me feeling normal and like myself. I've also started running again, which feels very different while I'm still considerably out of shape and heavier than before. It's also much different running while pushing a stroller in front of me. 

Ruby is such an easy baby. She is so smiley, active and alert. She already seems to be trying to talk and make different sounds. I swear she tries to say I love you. We say that to her all day long, so I wouldn't be surprised if she really is trying to imitate those sounds. But it seems a little too early for that, so I'm probably just imagining things. 

I'm looking forward to what the next few months have in store for us. Our wedding anniversary is coming up. Ruby is about to meet her papa's entire extended family. Sadly, it will be at her great grandfather's funeral. I'm thankful that her presence may bring some joy in a sorrowful time. School starts up again at the end of this month. Then there will be birthdays and our first long road trip with Ruby to Minnesota for my mother's wedding. I have a feeling the rest of this year is going to fly by. I want to enjoy these moments with her as a little baby as much as I can. I know it doesn't last long.

August 1, 2013

hair pulling & hair cuts








I haven't had a haircut in over a year. Leaving my hair be is a foreign concept to me. My mother was a hair dresser so naturally, or rather unnaturally, my hair was dyed for the first time at the age of three. Throughout my life I've been that girl who has cut her own hair, rocked a shaved head, pink hair, pixie cuts, asymmetrical cuts and super long hair. 

At this point in my life I have been trying to grow it out for a while. My last haircut was such a disappointment that I swore off them for a while. Now my hair is finally getting long again, although with curly hair you can never really tell. It's about half way down my back when it's wet and curls back up to my shoulders when it dries. I'm happy to have long hair again, I haven't in nearly a decade. Here is my dilemma; my adorable, sweet baby is constantly grabbing my hair and pulling on it. I know there are much bigger problems in the world and in the everyday lives of people, but it hurts. 

The obvious solution is to wear my hair in a ponytail or a bun, but it's hard for me to remember to put it up every time I hold my baby. I nurse her in bed, and for comfort reasons I choose to let my hair down during that time. So I'm constantly picking her up and laying her down throughout the day. So I'm trying to decide if I should just go ahead and get a major haircut or try to get used to the daily hair pulling. I can only imagine her little grip is going to keep getting stronger as she grows.